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Suicide prevention: Families urge others to seek help

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FORT CARSON, Colo. — Courtney Smith, a former service member, displays a photo of her husband, Brandon Selinsky, left, and his twin brother, Travis, right, Sept. 17, 2021. While in the service of the Army, both Brandon and Travis committed suicide, just a year and a half apart from each other. (Photo by Cpl. Kelsey Simmons)

“There are other people out there who are probably going through the same thing, or at least have similar feelings. Just reach out to someone. It doesn’t necessarily have to be behavioral health, but still talk to somebody. There’s someone out there who loves you, cares about you and would do anything they can to help you.”

— Courtney Smith

 

By Cpl. Kelsey Simmons

4th Infantry Division Public Affairs Office

Image of teal and purple suicide awareness ribbonFORT CARSON, Colo. — Brandon and Travis Selinsky came into this world together only a few minutes apart. Nearly 30 years later, they left it — this time a year and a half apart.

Although both brothers were U.S. Army service members and had been on multiple deployments, it was not the combat engagements that ended their lives. Rather, it was the guilt and psychological damage that culminated throughout the years after.

Travis and Brandon Selinsky were born in Phoenix, and grew up in Prescott Valley, Arizona. Growing up as identical twins, they shared a close relationship that only people who inhabited a womb together could understand.

Travis Selinsky, the eldest of the twins, was known to be quieter and more reserved than his brother.

“He was quite the ladies’ man,” said Cassie Bertella, the twins’ older sister. “They loved him. It wasn’t just that he was handsome, but I think it was also his sweet and caring demeanor. Family was everything to him.”

Staying true to the common trope of identical twins having completely opposite personalities, Cassie characterized Brandon Selinsky as a wild and crazy showman.

“He loved karaoke, but he couldn’t sing to save his life,” said Courtney Smith, Brandon’s widow and a former service member. “He often couldn’t remember the words to the songs, but he was super confident about it. He was a fun-loving guy who was always joking around and happy. He had a bright smile, and he always wanted to make other people smile. Everyone loved being around him.”

Not only did the brothers have opposing personalities, but they also enjoyed contrasting recreational activities. Brandon Selinsky’s cheerful disposition reflected his love for the sunny outdoors. He enjoyed spending his time hiking, fishing, running and working on his car.

“You could definitely tell that he enjoyed life a lot,” Smith said. “It was always an adventure when we were together.”

While Brandon Selinsky spent his recreational time exploring the world’s terrain, his brother preferred colder environments and water-based activities, such as paddleboarding, surfboarding and snowboarding.

Given their active lifestyles, it was no surprise that both brothers enlisted in the Army. Travis Selinsky joined first, signing up as an infantryman as soon as he turned 18 years old in 2008. Four years later, Brandon Selinsky followed in his brother’s footsteps and enlisted as a vehicle all-wheel mechanic, and served with 1st Stryker Brigade Combat Team, 4th Infantry Division, among other units.

As an infantryman, Travis Selinsky deployed many times throughout his military career. After many years, he decided that he had seen enough bloodshed and lost too many of his friends to combat, so he changed paths and became a recruiter instead.

FORT CARSON, Colo. — Courtney Smith, a former service member, displays a photo of her husband, Brandon Selinsky, left, and his twin brother, Travis, right, Sept. 17, 2021. While in the service of the Army, both Brandon and Travis committed suicide, just a year and a half apart from each other. (Photo by Cpl. Kelsey Simmons)

FORT CARSON, Colo. — Courtney Smith, a former service member, displays a photo of her husband, Brandon Selinsky, left, and his twin brother, Travis, right, Sept. 17, 2021. While in the service of the Army, both Brandon and Travis committed suicide, just a year and a half apart from each other. (Photo by Cpl. Kelsey Simmons)

“Travis (Selinsky) was dealing with a lot of personal things, like combat-related post-traumatic stress disorder and ‘survivor’s guilt,’” Smith said.

He was stationed in Hawaii — a place where he could do all the water-based activities he loved. Unfortunately, even the sandy beaches and beautiful sunsets of a Hawaiian paradise weren’t enough to keep his mind off his fallen comrades.

“Travis (Selinsky) was the epitome of the American Soldier,” Bertella said. “He loved it. I think that is why he suffered so much with the guilt and pain of the loss of his brothers-in-arms. He had a sleeve full of memorial tattoos on both of his arms.”

In February 2017, Travis was the first of the Selinsky twins to commit suicide.

Unfortunately, time does not pause after a loved one passes. Amidst the chaos and heartache of his sudden death, Brandon Selinsky and Smith still had responsibilities to attend to, such as attending the Senior Leadership Course (SLC) and working toward a promotion.

“We made it a competition to see who could get promoted first since we were both (sergeants),” Smith said. “We went to SLC in two different brigades, so we were in two different hotels about two miles from each other.”

Smith said Brandon Selinsky had a difficult time coping with his twin’s sudden death. She believed the added pressure, of course, and living in a hotel alone was too much to handle for him.

“We never really slowed down enough to process any of it,” she said.

Three nights before their graduation, Smith got a phone call from a detective telling her to get to Brandon Selinsky’s hotel as soon as possible.

Once she arrived, a few of her and Brandon Selinsky’s friends from class were already there, waiting outside his hotel room. When they saw her, they passed the horrible news that he committed suicide.

“Of course, I didn’t believe them,” Smith said. “Then I saw one of our really good friends, Steven. When he told me, that’s when I finally believed it was true.”

Police wouldn’t allow her into the room, but she watched in agony as the gurney carried her husband away to the coroner’s van — hidden from her eyes by a white blanket covering his lifeless body — leaving her alone with her grief.

Smith said she wished her husband would have reached out, and that she’s occasionally put the blame on herself for not recognizing it.

“I was devastated, and I still am,” said Bertella. “I can look at pictures of them, but I still can’t watch a video or hear their voices. It’s too tragic and heartbreaking to grasp that we could let this happen, not once, but twice. We failed them. The pain they carried is now left with us to have.”

After 16 years of service, Smith has now been out of the military since March. Now that she’s transitioned into life as a civilian, she wants to contribute more to the Gold Star Family program at Fort Carson.

“I want to get more involved,” Smith said. “I know they do different fundraisers and have support groups. I think the support groups really help Families with lost loved ones because it shows them that they’re not alone and they have someone else around who knows what they went through.”

If there was any message that Smith could pass on to Brandon or Travis Selinsky or anyone else who’s considering taking their life, she said it would be to reach out and know they aren’t alone.

“There are other people out there who are probably going through the same thing or at least have similar feelings,” Smith said. “Just reach out to someone. It doesn’t necessarily have to be behavioral health, but still talk to somebody. There’s someone out there who loves you, cares about you and would do anything they can to help you.”

Call the Suicide Prevention Lifeline 800-273-8255 or text to 838255 to get help now.


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